I found the following somewhere on the internet yesterday and I am sorry to say that I do not remember where I copied it from but I am adding it to my post because I can really relate.
Ever notice how easy it is to find fault in others? There are plenty of timeless metaphors for this very human phenomenon - from the pot calling the kettle black, to the Biblical “take the log out of your own eye so you can see the speck in your brother’s eye,” to those in glass houses should not throw stones.
I hear the playground war stories from my children…who was mean to whom, who called so-and-so a name, who wouldn’t share, who wouldn’t let them play, etc. And I know it in my own life, in my own so-called grown-up heart, when I feel attacked or slighted or ignored. Sometimes criticism can be an invitation to growth, especially when the critic speaks truth with deep knowledge and love. Other times, particularly when a mean-spirited person is just getting their kicks or nursing their own insecurities, it serves no good purpose at all.
I console myself the same way I comfort and bolster my children. I remind them that the best way not to get picked on is to do nothing. Be nothing, learn nothing, do nothing, stand for nothing, and talk to no one. I say this with a smile.
“But Mom,” they say, “that’s really boring.”
“Exactly.”
A surefire way to get picked on is to speak up, act out, try new things, make mistakes, say what you feel, risk, reach out, put it out there, have opinions, ask questions, be deliberate, be hasty, be vulnerable, be real.
An image comes to mind of an overweight person running…red-faced, perspiring, angled shorts surely chafing, slowly working their way around the track. Would any runner, worth the salt on their sweaty face, scoff? Are you kidding me? No way. When I see someone like this, I smile and nod like I do anytime a runner passes by. Except in this case, on the inside I am cheering. Any runner knows how hard it is to begin, to motivate and to fight inertia. Our instinct as runners is to encourage.
And most runners carry this same sentiment even out of the shower and into normal clothes. And that is the gift we share, our offering to the world, especially to those who cannot run a mile (or 3, 6, 13, 26.2) in our shoes, so to speak.
I keep a quotation from writer/comedian Katie Goodman, ripped out of a magazine and framed in a dog bone-shaped frame, on my desk in my office. I read it any time I need to “throw myself a bone.” It says: There will invariably be people who do not accept you. And in that case you must be your own badass self, without apology.
Wink.
It is meant to be an inspirational piece I know but it left me somewhat depressed.Because I realized that I've been a "Nothing" my whole life, be nothing, stand for nothing, do nothing ,all to be on the safe side, to not rock the boat or invite criticism. My son Justin recently ran for class president but did not win the election. His best friend won and Justin was a terrific sport about it. I haven't told him how proud I am of him just for trying. I think it takes a ton of courage to take a chance like that. It is something that I would have never had the courage to do.I hope he continues to try new things no matter how hard or scary they seem. He already is a "something"
Ever notice how easy it is to find fault in others? There are plenty of timeless metaphors for this very human phenomenon - from the pot calling the kettle black, to the Biblical “take the log out of your own eye so you can see the speck in your brother’s eye,” to those in glass houses should not throw stones.
I hear the playground war stories from my children…who was mean to whom, who called so-and-so a name, who wouldn’t share, who wouldn’t let them play, etc. And I know it in my own life, in my own so-called grown-up heart, when I feel attacked or slighted or ignored. Sometimes criticism can be an invitation to growth, especially when the critic speaks truth with deep knowledge and love. Other times, particularly when a mean-spirited person is just getting their kicks or nursing their own insecurities, it serves no good purpose at all.
I console myself the same way I comfort and bolster my children. I remind them that the best way not to get picked on is to do nothing. Be nothing, learn nothing, do nothing, stand for nothing, and talk to no one. I say this with a smile.
“But Mom,” they say, “that’s really boring.”
“Exactly.”
A surefire way to get picked on is to speak up, act out, try new things, make mistakes, say what you feel, risk, reach out, put it out there, have opinions, ask questions, be deliberate, be hasty, be vulnerable, be real.
An image comes to mind of an overweight person running…red-faced, perspiring, angled shorts surely chafing, slowly working their way around the track. Would any runner, worth the salt on their sweaty face, scoff? Are you kidding me? No way. When I see someone like this, I smile and nod like I do anytime a runner passes by. Except in this case, on the inside I am cheering. Any runner knows how hard it is to begin, to motivate and to fight inertia. Our instinct as runners is to encourage.
And most runners carry this same sentiment even out of the shower and into normal clothes. And that is the gift we share, our offering to the world, especially to those who cannot run a mile (or 3, 6, 13, 26.2) in our shoes, so to speak.
I keep a quotation from writer/comedian Katie Goodman, ripped out of a magazine and framed in a dog bone-shaped frame, on my desk in my office. I read it any time I need to “throw myself a bone.” It says: There will invariably be people who do not accept you. And in that case you must be your own badass self, without apology.
Wink.
It is meant to be an inspirational piece I know but it left me somewhat depressed.Because I realized that I've been a "Nothing" my whole life, be nothing, stand for nothing, do nothing ,all to be on the safe side, to not rock the boat or invite criticism. My son Justin recently ran for class president but did not win the election. His best friend won and Justin was a terrific sport about it. I haven't told him how proud I am of him just for trying. I think it takes a ton of courage to take a chance like that. It is something that I would have never had the courage to do.I hope he continues to try new things no matter how hard or scary they seem. He already is a "something"
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